something catchy please

Long time no post

2006-04-13T19:59:00.000Z

hello

would it help me do more stuff if i published this on the internet?

washing machine

2004-09-21T22:33:00.000Z

today i smashed up a washing machine. we have two, but one is old and broken and lies with cables trailing in the shed, if i had thought about it before it might have been morose. we're smashing it up today because the new one is also broken now, and having two broken washing machines in the shed that do not look broken will not do, one of them must pay the price. of disposal. in all fairness we were going to gently dismantle it, nut by bolt by furtive rubber washer and it was going quite well until we realised that the drum refused to budge. that was when my dad whispered those magic words, "i think we have to smash it". it's great fun.

unemployment

2004-09-19T23:51:00.000Z

i am so unemployed i actually dug a hole today and filled it back up. funnily enough i lived in keynes' house for most of last year, unfortunately this is not the humour of the employed. i also realised that digging a hole is always followed by the filling it back up. who digs a hole and leaves it open?!

book shame

2004-09-19T23:27:00.000Z

when i was younger i used to read a lot of books, but my parents actually thought it would worsen my academic performance. even today i don't quite get it, sure i could have spent all my time reading books instead of doing homework, but that didn't happen anyway and what kind of a literary genius would i be now if i had? horrific. as they always worked late i'd often snuggle into bed with a solid paperback on pillow, half reading, half listening out for the sound of the engine drawing near, and when they came home it'd always be a rush to shift the evidence out of sight. i think of this whenever i read reviews for books which seem overly overly, take wallace's oblivion, i've heard interesting things from all quarters, a purchase is certainly imminent, the checkout approaches, but.. what if my shelf collapses from the weight of its trendiness? will this completely destroy my everyman credibility? do i have to hide my prediliction for trendy pomolit for shame?

book shame never leaves you and wallace's ooblivion will have to wait for a larger room with better hiding places.

hot

2004-08-08T19:44:00.000Z

it's too hot for anything, lucky my eyeballs works without effort, i think i'm losing weight or maybe just redistributing it. i got hung upside down yesterday but that's just fluids moving right? what if a piece of fat got lodged in my skull?

...and one more thing

2004-08-02T22:48:00.000Z

i don't understand why i need an adult photo id when travelling on the tube, it's a bit redundant really when we already have a child's id card. still, nothing says graduation better than ripping out id and putting in new id, rite-of-passage meets ikea DIY, wicked.

late for work

2004-08-02T22:42:00.000Z

today at the tube i needed a weekly travelcard, but being late as usual, was in a bit of a hurry and also couldn't work the passport photo machine (for photo ID), not that i didn't slam the buttonless console a few times in neolithic exploration. giving up, i got back in the queue before discovering ten minutes later that it was for a fancy pants new card scheme that i had not signed on for. being late for work just got a sequel, being later for work, so i make for the nearby newsagents that does the oldschool weekly travelcards, still missing id, but desperate and irrational to try most things. at the counter, i am lit by an uncommon stroke of genius, manhandling my student id card scores me one passport photo, but the year old plastic does not give in without a fight and some of my shoulder gets left behind, trapped between the sticky veneer and the plastic card. not until i am walking home in high dusk do i realise i'm not in kansas anymore...can someone give me a masters already? i'm ready for tenure..

summer

2004-07-31T15:50:00.000Z

what is summer like for a girl? guys will openly fawn over walking cream and caramel godesses slinking down a street, and girls need little but nice skirts and shoulders to come out on top; ladies, whatever feminism has in store cannot touch these sunny months.

wanting

2004-07-31T14:19:00.000Z

i can't believe i'm the only one of two who wants, go figure, i think capitalism's work here is done...

wow

2004-07-31T12:42:00.000Z

fuckin' A